Burger 78 Day 71: Mountains Edge, The Homestead Burger

Cascade West is the king of… something. Some sort of style, some manner of dive/sports/lounge intent. Decorative timbers, fake fireplaces, unfinished wood panelling, digital casino games, and worn through low pile carpet. Timbers is it’s less favorable sibling on the opposite edge of town, but otherwise identical. Mountain’s Edge is the estranged cousin who you’d heard of but only knew existed from glimpses of it cropped out on the edge of family photos. It takes Cascade West’s style and magnifies it in the wrong direction.

The bartender was pushing a new drink she called Spa Water. It was based around champagne or something, but everytime I heard her recommend it I could only think of a warm, salty, used hot tub. The draft Rainier was tepid, not the frosty cold I was accustomed to from other local lodge-themed establishments. Half the patrons were off-shift employees. I was the only adult male not wearing cargo shorts and sandals. The music was stuck on the “upbeat 80’s for the dentist waiting room” station. An obvious high school kid ordered, with admirable but practiced confidence, a “Maker’s on the rocks with Rainier beer back.” The bartender stated “And you’re over 21,” but forgot to add a question mark as she got his drinks.

This is not a place of quality. This is a house where stories are born. That friend you only call when life seems a bit too tame and you want to regret something.

Food arrived fast. The burger was previously frozen and now overcooked. The bacon almost raw and chewy. The lack of an Oxford comma led me to believe I was getting grilled jalapenos, not these pickled type. The overcooked/undercooked theme was continued with the battered fries, who managed a low temp soggy potato center surrounded by a hard, crispy, old-fat flavored outer shell. The fry sauce tasted like mayo and that ketchup water that floats to the top of a bottle.

I’m sad to admit, but I’ll probably come back to this place. Just not for a burger.

Metrics
Score: 2 of 5
Price: $10.25 with bacon, jalapenos and a side of fries
Beer: Rainier

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