Is Chicken The New Bread?

Ever since John Montagu, the Earl of Sandwich, first asked his servant to bring him meat between two pieces of bread, people the world over have been doing the same. For nearly 300 years, sandwiches have been defined as the union between two pieces of bread. But now the sanctity of sandwich marriage is at stake and the perverse minds at KFC  are undermining commonly held traditional values. Whether they intended to or not, KFC engineers have forever expanded the boundaries of sandwich technology. The creation of the Double Down did for the sandwich culture what LSD did for the drug culture. That got me thinking, “Is chicken the new bread?”

I pondered this question late last week as I ate yet another meal in the Columbia University dining hall, which looks more like something out of Hogwart’s than the Ivy League. I made my pass by the usual stations: the omelet line, pizza, salad bar. Nothing looked appetizing until I came upon the main course. Ah yes, bastardized Chicken Cordon Bleu consisting of fried chicken topped with a slice of ham and swiss cheese. I stared at it a second before a devilish smile stretched across my face.

I grabbed two pieces of the Cordon Bleu and put a waffle in between them. I topped it with some syrup and served it up with a glass of orange juice. Oh, and don’t forget the hot sauce. Now that is one sticky, greasy, spicy sandwich. Kind of appropriate considering chicken and waffles were created in the 1930’s kitchens of Harlem. My guess is that this sandwich is the perfect hangover cure. And while I wasn’t hungover -it was a Thursday for fuck’s sake- the nontraditional sandwich would no doubt satisfy the craving for both sweet empty carbs and greasy meat. I definitely need to corner the market on this one.

Chicken N' Waffles

The Double Down Waffle

1 comment to Is Chicken The New Bread?

  • My god man, you took the insides of the Double Down, the pork and the cheese, and you put them on the outside. And THEN you took the inversion one more convolution and you put the bread in the middle. To mix your analogies, you are the LSD of the sandwich culture.

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